Nocturnal

Check out Clarity New York: Awesome music by Tessa and Donavin James

http://soundcloud.com/claritynewyork/clarity-castaway

Today I move back to New York City. It’s been a real bore hanging around long island for the past few months, but I think that I’ve learned a lot. Actually, these past few months have been the most crucial of my entire life. In the depths of winter I was so close to the smell of death…it followed me everywhere and I wondered when it would please, please, please go away. For good. It’s gone now, that terrible smell that rots your brain when you try to think or read or talk. It’s gone. Now I’m heading back to the city where I belong to continue on with life…that interesting word, whatever it means. I think it means whatever you make of it from Long Island beaches to New York City streets. Who really knows what it means, but I know that I’m going to make the best of it. I’ll be interning at Oxford University Press and taking two english classes, one which is Intro to Creative Writing which should be interesting …I will be doing plenty of writing that isn’t only in my blog or in my book. Lovely. Life is good.

I sometimes wonder why we are obsessed with things that do not seem to last. Like cigarettes, like fireworks, like drinks that you drink to get drunk to forget and remember and prolong all at the same time. I think about this a lot as I’m lighting my lonely cigarette butts, wondering silently, maliciously, desperately where do our lives go when they no longer last. Our lives, we’re obsessed with them, yet they do not carry on forever. We obsess, digress, form words with our open mouths that speak truths and lies that are intertwined like shoe laces around your fingertips when you’re young. We obsess, because it is just human nature to obsess and to forget what is painful, what does not last. So do we forget our lives once we have lived them? Once we have left this earth do we obsess or do we roll over in our graves and forget the precious moments that we have lived knowing that one day this will all end.